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Post by christian on Dec 21, 2005 13:27:02 GMT -5
hello sorry for not posting in awhile and not being very active iv just been very busy with life outside the computer anyway life has been doing its ups and downs and the depression and cutting are still going and lately have gotten bad i lost 2 jobs i quit both and I'm not working because there is no point if i cant keep myself stable and 5 days ago i went on my worst cutting spree ever doing over 100 slashes to my arms with blood dripping down on the floor and took half a hour to clean myself up and thoughts of suicide have ran across my mind in the past few weeks in response to this my paster told me of a longterm program called Canaan land which is a 12 month inpatient program run my Christians for free and is mainly supported by donations and Church's me and my father are trying to get a hold of them now and so far things are lining up but the over the phone interview is going to be setup which will see if i can go or not take care. Christian helmersen  |
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Post by gynovia on Dec 21, 2005 13:35:14 GMT -5
oh Christian, i'm so sorry. we'll praying you and your father will be able to contact Canaan land, it sounds like a good program. remember that God is always there for you when ever you need him. if theres anything we can do, let us know we'll keep praying. God bless. |
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Post by christian on Dec 21, 2005 13:42:58 GMT -5
tho i m scared of going someware for a hole year like this tho everbody around me thinks it would be very good for me and want me to go im sorta on go side but i just fear going away for so long i know its nothing like college but iv never left my home for longer then a week if everthing goes well on thee telphone tho my best friend asked if i could get better on my own and i had to say i dont think i can alone i cant stop cutting myself i cant stop going up and down and being depressed and this sorta makes me feel ashamed of myself and makes me think worse of myself  |
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Post by Geberia on Dec 21, 2005 15:05:29 GMT -5
Well we all fail in some ways Christian. You're not the only one out there who has felt bad about having an addiciton. I hope the Caanan land works out for you. Maybe you can meet some new friends and they can encourage you and whatnot. But whenever you're feeling bad, just remember that God forgives and forgets and nothing is to hard for him. And remeber that you're his child and always will be  |
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Post by New Titania (TD) on Dec 21, 2005 22:51:38 GMT -5
God is with you always, Christian, remember that. He'll always be there for you no matter what hard things you go through with your life and He loves you. I'll definitely keep you in my prayers, and I especially hope that Caanan land is an awesome experience for you that can get you through this. With God's help, you'll beat this.
Always remember, you've got a family here in CT to come back to any time!
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Post by christian on Dec 22, 2005 1:01:33 GMT -5
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Post by Geberia on Dec 22, 2005 8:24:36 GMT -5
Hey nice pics What's the bunny's name? |
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Post by falklands on Dec 22, 2005 10:38:58 GMT -5
Just remember Psalm 23, Christian.
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.
Even though you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, Christian, God will still be with you. He is always there! Always turn to Him for comfort! Always trust in His mercy! When things are hard, praise His name! The Lord has an amazing plan for you, Christian. Look with hope towards the future!
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Post by christian on Dec 22, 2005 12:30:20 GMT -5
mr.bun
or
mr.bean some of us call him ;D
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Post by gynovia on Dec 22, 2005 13:53:39 GMT -5
lol
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Post by New Titania (TD) on Dec 22, 2005 15:25:34 GMT -5
Awesome pictures...I do wonder why you're dancing with something's head, however...
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Post by falklands on Dec 22, 2005 17:01:11 GMT -5
Oh yes! I was curious too ;D
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Post by steelsheen on Dec 22, 2005 19:38:30 GMT -5
Hey! My cousin had a Mr. Bun... but we called him Mr. Bimbo....
I hope you do better, Christian! God bless!
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ashbash
Junior Member
if u want to know, that's a wine bottle, top down
Posts: 74
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Post by ashbash on Dec 23, 2005 5:19:35 GMT -5
Hey christian, don't be too hard on yourself, EVERY single person in the entire universe has failed in some way, but God loves us all so much, and i don't think he could bear the thought of you killing yourself. in time, if u trust God and believe in yourself, you WILL overcome this addiction. I'm praying for you! btw, nice bunny |
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Post by falklands on Dec 23, 2005 16:21:43 GMT -5
I came across 1 Corinthians 10:13 today:
"No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it. "
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